Saturday, 25 February 2017

FAVORITE PRODUCTS | Maybelline





Hiiiii guys! I know it has been a hot minute since I've talked to y'all through my blog space, so I figured why not hit the refresh button from last year, and start off this year with a light post, and share some of my favorite makeup products from one of my favorite drugstore brands! Now these products are all obviously from one brand - Maybelline - and it is one of my ALL TIME favorite drugstore brands. It's the first makeup brand I ever used, and I can remember being about 7 years old, sneaking into my Grandma's bathroom, and grabbing that iconic green + pink tube of mascara off the counter. I just remember feeling so unbelievably happy with hearing that pop as soon as you open a tube of mascara. You know what I'm talkin' about. *insert slight smiley faced emoji here

Of course, it ended up all over my eyes, and inside them a lil bit, but I fell in love with it instantly, even if I wasn't very crafty with my hiding my makeup skills from my Grandma or Mom.

But I can remember finally turning 10, and walking into Rite Aid with my Mama, and her taking me into the beauty aisle, and her allowing me to buy my own tube of mascara. She mostly gave in because I kept stealing hers and losing it all the time - ha, whoops, but I mean it worked out for dis chick soooo.

Now, 15 years later, and Maybelline is still my top brand. Hell, I'll say it - I even tend to go towards it over more of the higher end brands. Now don't get me wrong, there are TONS of other drugstore brands/products that I absolutely love, and are my ride or dies - Maybelline is just the one brand I lean towards the most, and have a special love for.







MASTER CONTOUR |
Shade: Light/Medium

This one was a new find for me. I started using it a couple months back and I really do love it. The contour powder is on the cool side which I like because I am super fair, and I find that if I use more warm shades it can turn out to make me look a bit orange. That ain't cute. The blush I find is a bit on the pinky side, but it's not an overbearingly pink shade. It's more of a pretty pink. The highlight on it is definitely on the more natural side, which is super beautiful, and nice when you are going for that look. I mostly wear the highlight + blush shade when I am just doing basic/natural makeup look, and I want a more luminous look with some color to my cheeks, but the contour shade I use frequently.



LASTING DRAMA WATERPROOF GEL PENCIL LINER |
Shades: Multiple Different Options
(Ones I own are - Sleek Onyx + Soft Nude)

These are just beautiful pencil liners. I love them because they don't transfer which is amazingggg! Especially, when I am putting the black one just on the top waterline, and the nude one on the bottom, and it stays where it's suppose to. It's bomb guys.



THE FALSIES FLARED |
Shade: Very Black in Waterproof

This mascara is definitely in my top five of favorite mascaras. I love it because it has the little tiny fibres that lengthen your eyelashes, and make them appear thicker and fuller. Which is definitely something that this mama NEEDS in a mascara.



FIT ME POWDER MATTE + PORELESS |
Shade: 110-120

I dig this powder when I'm going for a full glam / full coverage / full cover this isssh up look. It's a beautiful powder that doesn't cake up on my face at all which is nice. My favorite way to apply it is with a damp beauty blender, or with a bigger fluffy brush (ex. Real Techniques - Powder Brush). I usually use the lighter shade for under my eyes, sides + bridge of my nose, and chin, and then the light/medium shade for all over my face. It just sets in so flawlessly, and doesn't settle into my fine lines or pores. It's a beautiful product.



MASTER PRIMER + BABY SKIN |
Shade: Blur + Illuminate

These primers are so beautiful! The Baby Skin I mostly use in just my T-Zone area - nose, forehead, chin, etc - and then I use the Master Primer for all over. It truly does what it says it does - blur + illuminate. It gives this very subtle glow, while also blurring out the pores and texture. LOVE.



MASTER CONCEAL |
Shade: Light

This concealer - ohhh my gosh. Can we just take a moment for how truly magnificent this concealer truly is? Like, I can't even begin to describe my love for this product. It is so flawless and beautiful, and just melts into your skin with the most flawless finish. I love it completely. It doesn't crease on me - which is a miracle in itself. But seriously y'all, it conceals up my struggles like a true homie would. She ain't no snitch, and has my back through and through. I apply it using a damp beauty blender wherever I need it the most - so under my eyes, nose, chin, forehead, + texture areas, and then I use setting powder after it's all blended.



COLOR SENSATIONAL LIP COLOR |
Top Fave Shades: Gone Griege, Lust for Blush, Touch of Spice, Espresso Exposed, Honey Pink, Brown Blush, Warm Me Up

These lipsticks are some of my favorite formula as far as drugstore lipsticks are concerned. They are pigmented, creamy, and are just beautiful. Their color range is pretty amazing too. My top fave is Gone Griege. Ugh, it just speaks to me on another level y'all.

Now, I will add in a little side note - they do also have their Vivid Matte Liquid Lipsticks which are also pretty amazing too. My favorite shade from that collection is the Nude Flush.



BROW PRECISE MICRO PENCIL |
Shade: Soft Brown

I was pretty pumped when I saw that they came out with a micro brow pencil. I love micro pencils for doing my eyebrows. They are my favorite! But I do love how easy this applies to my brows, and how natural I can make them look. I can get super precise with my strokes so I can give the empty spaces in my brows the appearance of having actual hairs there. The spooly is very important to me when it comes to a brow pencil because well, that's a huge part of getting it all blended and making it look like your natural brow, and this spooly is booomb! I always say that spooly's get better the more you use them, aka. the more product that build into them, because to me it just adds that lil extra to help blend everything that much easier, and faster.



EYESTUDIO GEL LINER WATERPROOF |
Shade: Blackest Black

Imma just say this real quick - put this on the record - this is the BEST gel liner in my personal opinny. Seriously, it is. I've used sooo many different smudge pots in my few years of doing/wearing makeup, and nothing can compare to this. And y'all can either try and clapback to that or approve, but I will forever be loyal to my Maybelline gel liner pot. It honestly gives me the blackest liner imaginable, and helps me create that perfect wing EVERY. DAMN. TIME. It doesn't flake away, or dull throughout the day. It literally just stays black all day long, and doesn't smudge. I don't necessarily enjoy the brush that it comes with, but I do like it for when I use this on my waterline. But I use just an angled brush, any angled brush will give you that fierce wing (ex. Sephora Pro Angled Brush #22)



FIT ME LIQUID FOUNDATION |
Shades: Matte + Poreless in 115 & Hydrate + Smooth in 125

Now the Hydrate + Smooth use to be Dewy + Smooth, but they just changed the name, and I am 100% okay with that. Either way, I love both of these foundations separately so incredibly much, but when I mix them together it's like this beautiful, flawless, perfecting concoction that I LOVE completely. These hands down are my favorite Maybelline product. I am constantly reaching for these foundations when I am doing my makeup, and they have never disappointed me. They give me that flawless, airbrush like finish. It's nice because the Matte + Poreless one does mattify your skin, but it's not a drying foundation. Meaning that it doesn't cling to your dry areas which is nice for my skin because I am definitely on the dry side. The reason I mix them together is so I get the mattifying and extra coverage from the one, and also the luminosity from the other. But both of them are just amazing, and when their powers combined.. well, you know.



Now I want to know what YOUR favorite Maybelline products are, or what your favorite go to Drugstore brand is! Tell me all your deeets, and what products you think I have to try out!




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Thursday, 2 June 2016

LOVE YO-SELF

Today has been a hard day. I was contemplating whether or not to share this story with y'all, but I just felt that I needed too. This moment has been a crucial part of my own inner worth. I hope it will help you as well. 


I had a lot of errands to run with the kid today. We first had to drop Keagan off at work, so we could have the vehicle to go to my doctors to get a refill on my prescriptions. Long story short, I have been doing my immigration for much too long, and I had been told my Alberta Health Care (AHC) was on. Well, when I got to my doctors, turns out, I was told wrong, and I had to end up paying for my doctors appointment. Very frustrating, but okay. 

Then we wait to see the doctor for about 20 minutes. By then it was 10:45 AM.
We hadn't had breakfast yet, because I didn't realize that it would take 4 hours for everything to be done. 

(Kid + No Food = HELL)

Finally, we get called into the doctors office.
He then tells me that I actually still have a refill on my medicine, UGH, 
even though my prescription bottle said "0 Refills", and so did the pharmacy.
My doctor said, "nope they are dumb, blah blah blah. You just wasted your time, and money." 
Just kidding, he didn't actually say that. But he might as well have.
Faaaan-freakin-tastic. 

11:10 AM : Next, we go over to the pharmacy. She tells me that it will probably be half an hour or so, and I can sit and wait or they'll call me when it's done. Meh. Ren seemed to be doing good, and I figured I could bribe him with a Kinder Egg, and games on mah phone, then when it's done we'll go home, and EAT.

"It shouldn't take too long" my mind was saying to me, "Just stay and wait. It will take more effort to go to the car, strap the kid in, drive home,go into the house, then he'll want to nap, and then we'd have to repeat everything.. and meh. We'll just stay". 

Worst. Mistake. Ever. 
Why you gotta play me like that mind? WHY?!


Now, Renner wasn't at his complete worst. But he wasn't his best either. 
The kid was hungry and sleepy y'all! What kid wouldn't be a bit grouchy. Even I was a little hangry

So he cried off and on. Ran around aisles while I browsed them. 45 minutes goes by, and I've almost reached my level. I went up and asked them how much longer it will be, and they said it'd be done soon, so I figured we'd already waited this long. 5 more minutes won't be that much harder. 




So I picked up Ren, so he could snuggle with me, while I browsed some more. Then I noticed this very beautiful, very, well, posh (for lack of a better word) woman, or as I now refer to her as Dragon Lady, walk around the corner.

I go to move out of her way, but she stops directly in front of me and says these words I will never forget. 


"So, are you going to even try to control your kid to seem like a half decent parent? Or are you just going to let him continue to act like this?" / Gesturing to Renner softly crying on my shoulder. 


I honestly was to stunned to say anything, so all I said back to her was, 
"Um. Excuse me?" 


She then went to say, "I've been in this store for half an hour, and during half that time all I've heard was your son, screaming and crying, and acting completely unbelievable. Like honestly, do you feel good about yourself when he does that? Because I couldn't imagine you would." 

I then finally gain some courage back after facing literal shock for someone speaking to me that way. 
In public. 
In front of people walking by. 
And loud enough for others to hear aisles over. 

"Well, I'm sorry if he was a disturbance to you, but it is not appropriate 
for you to just call me out like that. You don't know me.."


"Nor do I care too. I just don't understand how you can condone his behavior. Well, not that you really look like you would care enough about anything from how you're looking today."


"I'm sorry. You said what now?"

"You know I just don't understand parents these days. Letting their children run around, screaming and such. Unbelievable."


"Okay, well I don't appreciate you calling me a bad mother. Nor disrespecting my child, or how I parent him."


"If you are feeling like you are a bad mother then that is on you."


"Well, I would hope that you could show at least some compassion to
 a mother trying to wrangle a 3 year old while waiting on her prescriptions."


"I honestly don't have the time to sit here and carry a full conversation out about what bad parenting is. I just figured I would let you know how disruptive your child was behaving."


Then as quickly as she came, she left. 


Stunned is pretty much the only word I could describe how I was feeling.
Shame. Horrified. Embarrassed. The adjectives could never cease! 


She said a lot more hurtful things that truly cut deep. Things that I have been deeply struggling with. 
That anyone who has every parented a 3 year old before has gone through. 
Raising a child is hard. Straight up.
There is no rule book, or guide line to help you through every single step of raising this tiny human being.
And when someone, especially someone I don't know, can see through me, and cut my guilt a little bit deeper.
It resonates. It hurts. And it sucks. 


But then the cutest lady walked over to me. 
She saw me in tears, and reached out to hug me.
She whispered to me,

"Don't let the harsh words of a stranger, make you feel lesser of a mother. I know first hand the difficulties of being a parent. A single one at that. You can do what you can, and if people look down on you for it, that is their problem. Not yours. That boy loves you. You are his mama. And no one can take that away from you. Stay strong, beautiful."


I cried. Harder from her sweet words, than the harsh ones that were spoken minutes before that.


It made me remember who I am. Who I truly am inside. 
And that it's okay to not have everything together, 24/7! 




It's okay to leave your home with some stains on your favorite pair of comfy pants. 
And to have your hair thrown up in a half messy bun.
It's okay to not notice that your child's pants were just a bit too short on him.
It's okay to grab the pair of flats that have chipped away the cute blush color on them because they are your absolute fave, and you refuse to retire them.
It's okay to cry in the middle of Shoppers, because a lady ripped your soul apart.
And because another lady helped repair it.
And it's okay to walk out, after all of that struggle, even after waiting an hour for your prescription to be done, and not bother grabbing it.


In the end, the angry woman did teach me something.
She taught me to love myself.
Strange right?
You guys are probably thinking, giiiiirl you cray cray!
You shoulda back handed her and slashed her tires!

But nah, foreal.
She showed me the darkest part of where my mind could go, if I let it.
But I couldn't handle that feeling.
Been there before, and I REFUSED to go back.

Renner could even feel the darkness of my aura.
I felt dirty. Wrong. And just feeling sick.
He began to cry even more than before.
He was just as off as I was.


Then, I unshackled that part, and gave into a new one.
Love.
I loved myself too much to let that crap consume me.
I broke free from it. And I instantly felt so much better.
I still have a long jounery ahead toward complete self acceptance.
But I made a huge jump today towards it.


Now, I'm not perfect.
I get angry too quickly. 
My house is always a mess. 
There is always something on our kitchen table. 
Toys spew across the floor. 
The never ending laundry that is growing at the foot of my bed.
ETC.


But I know what is perfect.
And that is the love I have for my family. 
For my husband.
For our child.
For my in laws.
For our amazing friends.


The one thing I know about this world, and its sad, but people will hurt you for being you.
They will hurt you for being someone else.
They will hurt you if you make a mistake.

The only thing you can do, is love yourself, and keep moving forward.
And that's exactly what I intend to keep doing! 




And to all my peeps needing a little self lovin themselves, or are just having a hard time.
I challenge you to post your favorite picture of yourself, quote, landscape, WHATEVER. 
Anything that makes you feel loved inside.
Then tag it with /  #LOVEYOSELF

Everyone is worth being loved, and receiving love.
& Yes. Even dragon lady.






Wednesday, 25 November 2015

being a mom is hard

do you ever feel like you're doing everything wrong?
like everything you do is never right, or will get better?
it honestly is the worst feeling to me.

and, i feel that way the majority of the time as a mom. 
i never really pictured myself being a mom while I was growing up, much less being a good one.


and in a world where the outside image is worth more than the inside.. well, it’s hard to go through that world, and always try to measure up to your own view of what perfection is, much less every else's. 


i have this awful habit of concentrating on the bad things, and letting it go.
and it just builds. and builds. and builds. 
until well.. 
b o o m.

and that doesn’t help, or make anyone in our family happy. ever. 
especially, me. 





but being a mom is hard.

you know, i had this idea in my head that, yeah, it seems quite difficult, but you deal with the problems and move on.
but i never realize just how plain  a g o n i z i n g  it can be at times. 

and in the beginning it was fine. 


i loved having this perfect newborn in my arms.

then that newborn grew into a toddler. 

and that toddler grew into a two, almost three-ager, and somedays, well, I quite literally want to pull every single hair out, one at a time because that would be less painful than hearing him cry, scream, or whine just one more time.

somedays, I feel like this evil little gnome has crawled inside my perfect, precious boy.


no for reals. 


one minute, i'll be looking at his completely swoon-worthy chubby cheeked face, with his cute little teeth, perfect button nose, and the most beautiful caramelized eyes I have ever seen, and then the next minute all I see is this scary creature staring back at me.


shrieking like a little banshee because I didn’t get the cheese out fast enough.
or because he wanted to wear his slip on “piderman shoes” when there is 20 feet of snow outside.
or because I didn’t let him play “crossy road” on my phone.


and for that brief moment, I break. 

i tell myself.. 

I can’t do this. 

I can’t ever be alone. I can never seem to get enough sleep. My body hurts. My house is always a mess. My clothes are always covered in something. I can never talk on the phone without hearing screams, even though he was perfectly content playing by himself 2 seconds prior. I can’t eat alone. I can’t shower alone. I can’t read a book alone. I can’t go to the bathroom alone. I can’t just run into the thrift store, or Sephora for a few minutes without having to cater to a raging monster freaking out. I can’t stop stubbing my toes on his giant tractors or trucks..

and then everything goes quiet after shouting “ow” from hitting those freaking trucks for the millionth time.. 

then I hear his footsteps running up the stairs to me, yelling, 

“Oh no! You okay, Mom?! You okay?!”  


and my entire mind stops spinning. 


and I remember him running and jumping up on our bed while I'm trying to blog, and attempting to cover us up under the blankets saying, “Hide, Mom! Hide from Dad!"

i remember him grabbing his blankies, sippy, paci, + chase, to come and snuggle with me on the couch while I am reading.

i remember him hearing me tell Keagan I wanted a bagel, so he ran to the kitchen to bring me the entire bag of bagels + the strawberry cream cheese that I love from the fridge.

i remember him seeing Jennifer Lawrence on the TV, and him shouting, "MOM! You on the show!"(thats real love folks)

i remember him hugging me, and brushing my tears away, and saying, "It's okay, mom. It's okay" when I read a letter my dad had written me before he passed away.

i remember him always saying sorry to me whenever he bumped into me, or when i step / trip / fall on his stuff and hurt myself.

i remember him always wanting to help me stand up if I was having a hard day.

i remember the first time he said, “I love you, mama”.

i remember that creeper smile he does when he wants to make me laugh.

i remember him trying to sing me back to sleep one night he crawled into bed with us.

i remember that my life is damn good.

i remember that I made an amazing kid, with the most amazing man.

i remember that I love my boys.

and all of the hardships, the guilt, the pain, the sadness, the anger, the self-pity just melts away.


i might get things wrong somedays, but the one thing i know i did right, was becoming a wife, and mom.


being a mom is hard. 
but i wouldn’t give it up for  a n y t h i n g.





Monday, 7 September 2015

the four year proposal

four years ago today Keagan proposed to me.
..welll.. four years ago yesterday. meh. same dif.

It was a beautiful day.

We had been planning a mock photoshoot for a while with our good friend, Jane. She was just starting her photography bidness up, and she needed to "build her portfolio" / that's what I was told.

The day before the photoshoot I stayed up reallyy late with one of my best girls, Abbi. It was a movie date night, with LOTS of junk food. But I had the absolute worst time falling asleep, so at about 11 PM I decided to take a sleeping pill.

WORST. DECISION. EVER.

I woke up feeling horrible. I wanted nothing to do with this photoshoot. But I got up and got all ready anyways. By the time Keagan arrived at my house to pick me up, I was laying on the couch asking him if we can cancel.

HA. you silly girl, you.

Keagan and my sister, Steph, both were like,
"oh you'll feel better once you start moving!" / "drink some water, and eat something." / "if you can't do it once you're actually there, then you can leave."


Steph was practically pushing me out the door with my ice water. 

I bucked up, and went.
thankfully.

Steph runs outside while we were getting in the car to give me her camera. 
"Incase you want to film the photoshoot? Or something.."  
"uhh, k?"


She's not that very subtle guys. Let's give her a break.

Once in the car, I noticed that he had sweetly gotten me some Timmy's. aka. Tim Hortons.
The true way to this girls heart.

We start driving, and I'm trying to figure out where we were going. All I knew was that it was a beautiful location, and quote, "I was gonna freak." So me, being me, bugged him the entire way there. He didn't cave. He never does. 

We park, meet up with Jane and her buddy Ben, and start walking.
I can hear this roar over our voices, and I start to get excited because now I know.

It was a waterfall. My favorite places to be in the world are around waterfalls. And he remembered. Timmy's + a waterfall location. Boy was winning some points. 

We did a few romantic shots around the waterfall, and explored around a bit.

Then about 5 minutes later Jane hands Keagan this dandelion, and I say, 
"Keags! You should get down on one knee and fake propose to me!"


hey, I know what you're thinking. But we had talked about marriage and everything. 
so to me this wasn't going to happen for a bit. and I am a bit naive. same dif.

He of course then looks at Jane, and Ben, and they all laugh. 
they were in on the plan. they ain't dumb. 

So, Keagan gets down on one knee, and I fake surprise. 
The rest. Is in the video.

When you come into the video, you see me slow clapping.
He had just pulled out a Ring Pop bag. 
I had told him once before, "if you propose to me with a ring pop. it's a done deal sweetheart."

Hence the laughing. + slow clapping. 

 




He surprises me still everyday.
& everyday with him gets a little more sweeter.

I called my Mom on the way to our celebratory breakfast at Cora's. 
Apparently, Keagan had already called to talk to both of them. 
My Dad gave Keagan the sweetest advice, and acceptance talk. 
  
"I can't believe how well you fit so easily, and perfectly into our family. I know you will take care of her, and that you love her with all your heart. She's my baby girl, and now I'm handing her over to you. It would be my pleasure for you to marry her."

Those sweet words mean more to me now.
My dad knew. 


Six weeks later we were married.
He is, and always will be my flavorist. 


happy four year proposal, love.
or something. i don't know. 
*insert sassy girl emoticon.





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